I have consulted with my trusty almanac, and here are my tips for today…
– Under no circumstances talk to a man walking a ferret, unless he is offering to sell you pears, in which case this is a good omen and you will likely find that you wake up tomorrow with one less problem than you went to bed with.
– Do not wear red, for the almanac states that those who wear red on a Sunday in February shall surely meet themselves coming backwards.
– ‘Tis a Waning Gibbous moon tonight, so wash your hair at your own peril.
– For excellent luck, Glare deeply and malevolently at any red-haired passer-by you see wearing shabby velvet trousers and a green cravat. This is not from the almanac, you understand. This is Septicus Newt, the proprietor of ‘The Slug and Newt’. He owes me ten Tack from a hair-enhancing spell I sold him last Friday, and I don’t want to waste my good Glares on him.
And don’t forget to practise your finger-wagging. You never know when you might need it.