Freda’s Almanac – Guidance for today

Published February 16, 2014 by Annie Oliver

I have consulted with my trusty almanac, and here are my tips for today…

– Under  no circumstances talk to a man walking a ferret, unless he is offering to sell you pears, in which case this is a good omen and you will likely find that you wake up tomorrow with one less problem than you went to bed with.

– Do not wear red, for the almanac states that those who wear red on a Sunday in February shall surely meet themselves coming backwards.

– ‘Tis a Waning Gibbous moon tonight, so wash your hair at your own peril.

–  For excellent luck, Glare deeply and malevolently at any red-haired passer-by you see wearing shabby velvet trousers and a green cravat. This is not from the almanac, you understand. This is Septicus Newt, the proprietor of ‘The Slug and Newt’. He owes me ten Tack from a hair-enhancing spell I sold him last Friday, and I don’t want to waste my good Glares on him.

And don’t forget to practise your finger-wagging. You never know when you might need it.

Freda x

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One comment on “Freda’s Almanac – Guidance for today

  • Hi Freda. I have a question on this cold night. Does wrapping oneself in a warm red blanket constitute wearing red as I wouldn’t like to meet myself coming backwards?

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