Freda’s Journal

Published February 19, 2014 by Annie Oliver

Yesterday, my God-daughter Scarlett took me out to the cinema. My sister Edna had to be left at home, for she is greatly a-feared of the giant screens, believing them to be bewitched by real Giants. There is no use telling her otherwise. Edna is a bit of a sop at times. You should have seen her the first time she used a telephone to speak to Scarlett – as soon as Edna heard her voice, she began a-hooting and a-hollering that a dark wizard had shrunken Scarlett and entrapped her in the telephone.  It took me two hours and ten cups of nettle tea to calm her down.

We went to see Disney’s Frozen and it was fantastic! I had to remind myself it wasn’t real. I was so incensed at the twist at the end that my poor old wand was twitching in my handbag to unleash spells onto the screen.  I’m not a popcorn fan so I took my own snacks – some crispy dried newt skin and a few dandelion bon-bons. The weasely ferret of a manager tried to take them off me, telling this wizened and wise Godmother that she wasn’t allowed to take her own snacks in. How rude! A sharp Glare soon put paid to that. Likely he has woken up this morning with unexplained warts and terrible flatulence and doesn’t quite know why…

In the evening, I spent some time back at Thistle Cottage with some good wizards who were a-visiting from my homeland, The Shade. I cooked them a nice nettle and grub stew and showed them Emmerdale and Eastenders. They were quite impressed with the televisual machine, although I kept them away from Jeremy Kyle, who Edna calls ‘the Dark One.’ I returned yesterday to find her counter-hexing the screen every time he said ‘wind your neck in’, which she believes to be a curse of the highest potency. I also managed to sell the wizards a fair few jars of peanut butter, which has revolutionised nut-eating in a land where a full set of teeth is detrimental to any self-respecting witch or wizards reputation.

I am still worried about my Goddaughter Scarlett, though. She is in my care and I may be over-anxious with her, but after everything that has happened in our little family, I need to keep an eye on things. She has dark blood running through her veins, you know. We thought we had it under control but just lately I see that glint appear in her eye and then I hear her whispering late at night. Is she whispering curses, or even worse…talking with a Soul Thief again? I consulted with the Magic Mirror but all was cloudy – although his allegiance is to Scarlett anyway he would not tell me what she is up to. Even the cat is keeping quiet.

Hmmm…I’m going to need help. Time for a trip to The Silver Jug to see my old frenemies Septicus and Lavinia Newt, I think, and I’m going to need lots of false teeth and cheese ‘n onion crisps for bartering…



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