My name is Freda Mahildous Crabbefoot. I’m a Fairy Godmother by trade, although some do say that with my cantankerous temper and ability to spoil any special occasion with a sleeping curse or such-like, I would have been much better suited as a Witch.
I live with my thick-eared sister Edna in Thistle Cottage in a sleepy seaside town located in Mind-Your-Own-Business. Edna is also a Fairy Godmother, but I wouldn’t ask her to do any Magic if I were you, unless you want to wake up tomorrow with your limbs fastened in the wrong places or with a different face than the one you wore to bed.
My main hobbies are Glaring and Finger Wagging, which I find can get most jobs done. You can also often find me collecting Snail Silk, Snare Grubs and Hungleberries for my recipes, which I’ll talk more about later.
My friend Annie, who is a writer, is busy telling some of my stories for me but she tells me there is no use us telling stories these days unless we have some online presents, whatever they are. So she told me to write a Blerg. After she got sick of trying to explain to me what a Blerg was, I handed her my trusty almanac, journals, this letter and my scrapbook and she said she is going to use her laptop contraption to entrap the words into the Blerg screen. ‘Tis Magic beyond my skill. She would make a good apprentice, that one…